I have questions about Lae’zel’s underwear

One of the most charming details about Baldur’s Gate 3 is that each companion’s specific clothing gets its own unique description. And yes, that extends to their undergarments.

For the most part, these underwear descriptions are very funny and character-accurate. Astarion’s fancy pants hold the description, “Embroidered into the cloth: ‘If you’re reading this, you managed to bed or behead me. Either way, you got lucky.’” Gale’s posit the question that he might have possibly enchanted them (as a Gale romancer, I hope that’s true). Shadowheart’s dark cheeky number reads, “If underwear could brood…” And for the most part, these descriptions pretty much match the visual look of the underwear.

Except for Lae’zel.

Lae’zel is a githyanki Fighter. She is pragmatic and ruthless, and has trained since childhood to become vicious on the battlefield. As such, her underwear description reads, “Built for function rather than fun.” Fitting! Except...

Here’s the thing. Lae’zel’s underwear isn’t practical. At all. In fact, it looks like a leather BDSM number, complete with harnesses and buckles. Her entire ass is hanging out, her butt cheeks framed by straps. It is the farthest thing from function over fun that I’ve ever seen.

Image: Larian Studios via Polygon

Image: Larian Studios via Polygon

Lae’zel is incredibly upfront about her sexual desires (seriously, I had to gently turn her down after she told me she wanted my body carnally), so it would not surprise me if she’s into the whole leather scene. (Maybe that’s where the function comes in.)

But still, that’s not really something you learn about her unless you trigger enough approval and the resulting dialogue for her to come on to you. When it comes to the function of being a hardened Fighter battling monsters in Faerun, I cannot think of underwear less fitting. Imagine the chafing! And making sure that all those straps stay in the right places as she charges at goblins? Does the armor hold it in place? Is it magically enchanted to not ride up?

I am not against sexy underwear. I think Shadowheart’s coy cheeky number makes sense. I was thrilled to find a sultry little corset top for my avatar, since I think that fits her character very well. And I certainly think Lae’zel deserves to live her best life in strappy leather harnesses. But let’s be honest about what we’re calling that ensemble: It’s not function over fun! It’s just fun, with little function!

But who knows? Maybe githyanki society values uncomfortable undergarments because it proves one’s allegiance to Supreme Queen Vlaakith or something. I don’t know. Vlaakith doesn’t seem like the type to value crotch space or breathability. Maybe the more skimpy the underwear, the higher the devotion. Maybe each of the leather straps is symbolic of a conquest. Maybe there’s a book somewhere in the Githyanki Creche detailing the githyanki undergarment rituals.

The good news is, you can put any companion character in anyone’s available underwear. Which means you can put beefcake Halsin in Lae’zel’s strappy ensemble. For science, of course.

Image: Larian Studios via Polygon